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"How many are there working at your office?" "About one third." or "For how long have you been working at that office?" "Ever since they threatened to fire me."

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Dictionary Of Employment Want Ads Terminology - Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission. Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law. Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this. Fast learner: You will get no training from us. Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours. Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing. Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme. Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory. Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors. Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work. Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements. Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already. Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

What the supervisor really says in your employee performance evaluations - Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes the job. Active socially: Drinks heavily. Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job. Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless. Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the ass. Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear. Happy: Paid too much. Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way. Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot. Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer. I ndifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors. Internationally know: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas. Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept. Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work. Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes. Listens well: Has no ideas of his own. Not a desk person: Did not go to college. Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors. Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life. Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn. Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors. Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.