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A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the kettle. Thinking he was being electricuted, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

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When Bush met the Queen he turned round and said: "I'm thinking of changing the way the USA is referred to. I'm thinking it should be a Kingdom". To which the Queen replied "I'm sorry Mr Bush, to be a Kingdom, you need a King in charge. And you're not a King." Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?" To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince". Ole Bush thought long & hard to come up with "How about an Empire?" The Queen, getting a little P'ed off by now replied " Mr Bush, to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge. You are not an Emperor." Before George Bush could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country".

REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED No one ever steals your chair. You want to see if it's like the dream. It diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. With a little help from Muzak, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. You can finally stop those pigs in marketing from looking down your blouse. You can say, "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet advertisement in my pants pocket" and mean it! You give "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. It's an inventive way to finally meet that special person in human resources. You can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. .. and (drum roll), the number one reason to go to work naked: Your boss is always yelling, "I want to see your butt in here by 8am!"

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